Why it’s Your Own Fault

dissappointed“People can’t live up to the expectations they don’t know have been set for them.” Rory Vaden

It doesn’t matter if it’s a disappointment with a gift , a relational response or a worker’s performance, if you didn’t make your expectations clear, then you have no right to hold anyone accountable for the results.

You didn’t make yourself clear and now you’re disappointed.  You may be right in thinking that he or she should have known what you expected. “Denny’s? I was sure he’d take me to that upscale restaurant.” Get over it.

To dwell in your cloud of gloom will only increase your frustration and negativity. Shake-off the blues about this one and determine to be more assertive the next time.

As you set your expectations, remember that the more specific you are- the who, what, where, why and when, the less likely you are to suffer a “disappointment-headache.” Have the Excedrin ready if you say: ” Joe, I’d like your expense report ASAP.”;  or you can relax and enjoy your weekend if you ask: ” Joe, I’m closing the books for the month next Monday, the 12th. Can I get your expense report completed and on my desk by 1 pm this Friday, the 9th?” If you can get  both understanding and  buy-in of your expectations on the front end,  you’ll help assure that your days of disappointment because of unclear expectations are over.

For the sake of the empowerment of others, particularly those who report directly to you, I recommend focusing expectations on outcomes and measurable results and not on methods or style. Micro-managers can suck the life out of good people.  In fact,  you can expect them to move on.

“Be clear on what you want; don’t rely on unexpressed expectations.” Alison Pescosolido, M.A.,Divorce Detox