“People like people who like them.” Kare Anderson
Running for office? George Gallup has discovered that the deciding factor between Issues, Party and Likeability is the “L” word. In fact, whatever business you’re in, your likeability can make or break you. According to The Like Ability Factor author, Tim Sanders, “… the more well liked you are,the more likely you are to keep your job.”
Who doesn’t want to be liked? If you can be you and be liked, not only, is it a natural place to live in, but also, it’s a position with significant benefits. For starters, if you’re liked, other people will be more apt to show you grace and become a cheerleader for you. As well, studies say that better things will come your way and you’ll be happier.
In fact, according to a 1992 survey, if you’re likeable, you’re likelihood of divorce is one half of the divorce rate of the general public. As a bonus, studies show that likeable people are healthier to boot.
Here are three tips for improving your likeability.
1. Be transparent and real. A cheesy smile, feigned enthusiasm and too much makeup may get you a quick look, but if you’re perceived as self-centered, with an artificial aura, you could cause people to be cautious of a deeper relationship. Just be you, and let your natural personality guide your style as you focus on others. Your honesty about faults, fears and faux pas can make you more approachable than gloating about your title, connections and accomplishments.
2. Talk less, listen more. Have you ever heard of anyone avoiding someone because “They listen too much,” of course not, but they will hide from you if you’re a “Gas-bag.” Talkers often focus on themselves, their own agendas and scripts. The stories may be interesting for a minute or two, but likeability suffers as the yakking continues. Getting away gracefully from a long-winded person takes some skill. Check out these escape tools.
Contrariwise, likeable great listeners are masters at asking leading questions and encouraging others to keep the microphone in their hands.
3. Remember names and passions. It goes without saying that you should remember preferred names, but you can also improve your likeability by remembering personal passions. Remember what others are excited about; what’s important to them. When you say to me “Hi Dick, how’s that new grandson, Lincoln?” You’ve won my endorsement as a likeable person.
You’ll be someone others will want to be around if you’re comfortable in your own skin, a great listener and someone who remembers people and their story. People will be saying “I really like that lady.”
“If other people don’t perceive you as friendly, you aren’t friendly.” Tim Sanders, The Like Ability Factor.