Why they avoid you


1. You talk too much. People may avoid you rather than risk that you will disrespect their time with a half hour of verbiage about you.

2. You don’t say enough. People may avoid you because their perception is that you have secret thoughts and that you don’t trust them enough to share them.

3. You’re a negative person. People realize that they usually feel worse about life and themselves when they’ve spent time with you.

Could this be YOU? Find someone who loves you enough to be honest with you and ask them.

Be a Name Caller!


If you can’t remember names, it’s likely not because you don’t have the right method, but probably because you haven’t recognized how valuable the skill is and haven’t given the skill a high enough priority. Once you recognize how valuable remembering names is, you’ll make any method work. You’ll find ways to do it in the same way as you find ways to get your next meal, sleep and breathe.

“No Problem” is a problem.

The customer may be sarcastically thinking “I’m certainly glad my request for more coffee is ‘No problem.’ because I certainly don’t want to create problems for you.” If your goal is to enrich the relationship with the customer, then try substituting the lifeless, negative “No problem.” response with an enthusiastic, positive response like “I’d be happy to do that.” You can expect customers to be more appreciative of your service and more likely to reward you.

No “Popeye” Exemptions

The old sailorman revealed his relational weakness when saying “I Y’am what I Y’am.” There are real-life “Popeyes” who say the same thing and strain relationships because of their inability to morph and say ” I Y’am who I need to be to connect well with you.” This friendly strength move can only be done by folks who have had their relational spinach and are personally very stable..

A Killer Apology

A poorly done apology can totally kill an otherwise recoverable relationship. If you want a “Healing Apology” you’ve got to look the offended person in the eye and :

1.Take the blame,

2. Make NO excuses,

3. Say “I’m sorry.”

4. Commit to change,

5. Give a gift and

6. Ask for forgiveness.

Sincerely done, you may end up with a relationship that’s stronger than ever. Watch how it’s done.

Teeth Whitening?

I’ve been trying that new Arm & Hammer, “Truly Radiant” toothpaste, but I still have banana colored teeth. I find comfort in reminding myself that long after my clients forget whether my teeth were white, or how nice my car looked, they’ll remember how I made them feel. I should be investing less time and energy on myself and more on building up the self esteem of others.

I can’t fix your receptionist.

Bosses ask me to fix a staff person, often their receptionist. I explain that I don’t fix people. I work with people and job assignments so that folks can really be themselves in their work . Once a person understands and is comfortable with who they are, then we can look at where they best fit in the organization. Maybe that “receptionist” is a better fit in billing.

Turn your NO into a YES

How to Make a Healing Apology

Service Recovery with the “LAST” Method